Dave’s Joke Tree

Hello all,

Here’s another funny from my friend Don in Friday Harbor. Learn how to add color to your communications with these beauts from Texas…Enjoy…Dave

Texas Speak:

Handy as a pocket on a shirt.

Broke as the Ten Commandments.

If his brains were gunpowder he couldn’t blow his nose.

She could talk the legs off a chair.

She said that he’s all cattle and no prod.

He’s all hat and no cattle.

If that ain’t a fact, God’s a possum.

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

He’s so busy, you’d think he was twins.

He’ll squeeze a nickel till the buffalo craps.

It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.

Cold as a cast iron commode.

She’s two sandwiches short of a picnic.

She’s so ugly she has to sneek up on a glass of water to take a drink.

Confused as a goat on astro-turf.

Handy as hip pockets on a hog.

So ugly that his mama takes him everywhere she goes so she doesn’t have to kiss him goodbye.

Looks like he sorts bobcats for a living.

So buck-toothed that he could eat corn-on-the-cob through a picket fence.

If brains were leather, he couldn’t saddle a fly.

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